UGH, THE HORMONES
It’s been 2 weeks since my last post. 2 WEEKS! I didn’t mean for that to happen. Last time I told you I was pregnant. I’m going on 3 months and I’m already ready for it to be over. My hormones have been very trippy, aside from the morning sickness and the faaatigueee, I got up one day feeling not like me.
It’s funny, I was just explaining to my husband how I can understand how some women become depressed during/after pregnancy. There are many different reasons, one being a loss of identity. I remember feeling like I was doing so much for this little person that I was losing mySELF. Like I had forgotten what things TNae likes and what she doesn’t. It was as if those things were obsolete and all that was left was a body only programmed to love and feed and tend to the needs of the baby.
2 weeks ago I woke up and didn’t want to write stories, or look at social media. It was the middle of the afternoon and I only wanted to find something in the kitchen that wouldn’t make me feel like ish and lay back down and sleep again. The screen light from just my phone made my gut quiver and so I set it to the side, only looking to pick it up if my husband called. Forget everyone else.
I thought maybe it was just that particular day, but it went on for days after. Initially, I was okay with not writing, then I felt bad about not wanting to do it. I knew it was just the hormones. I’m never NOT working on something.
I googled how to snap out of it. I found dozens of articles on how it was all completely normal to feel the way I did but nothing on how to fix it. I didn’t know what to do.
So, I waited.
You probably think I’ll say something like it suddenly hit me again. I wish it did. Although, yesterday I woke from one of the many naps I take during the day and thought about all of the financial commitments I have coming, and how much I don’t want to work fulltime hours at my job to fulfill said commitments. That thought certainly made me spring up in the bed and into action, because I much rather go write than do more hours at work (who wouldn’t!).
While that isn’t the rekindled love I was hoping would come, it’s better than nothing. Slowly I’ve been easing back in. Doing a little social media, writing this post, getting back to work on the story. I hope it all comes back to me. I know how much I love storytelling.
IT’S. JUST. THE. HORMONES.