Tossing and turning. Hands and feet numb from the cold. Staring out of the windows into the abyss to make sure the boogeyman (or Bubba, possibly one in the same thing. He was indeed monstrous; he stole my bike one time) wasn't coming to get me. 

Let me tell you. 

You're probably up to your eyeballs in New Year Reso posts, amIrite? I know. I was about to write one too, but I thought I'd save it. Do something different. Zig while everyone else is zagging. Instead, I'll tell you about something that's been on my mind: raising kids.  I've been reminiscing about my years under my parent's roof.

I was bad, especially when I got to highschool. In my defense, my behavior was the result of a strict household (this is my defense!). See, my parents became christians the same year I started 9th grade (not that it made too much of a difference. My mother was already a strict person). Four years of highschool was four years of a ball and chain around my ankle.

Let me say this now THIS IS NOT A POST BASHING MY PARENTS.  As an adult with my own children I have clarity. They were worried. First kids, and kid's first times are trial and error type deals. I could never hang out with my friends, unless they were from church. None of my church friends went to my school.

The result was me doing a whole lot of lying and sneaking around.

Do you know how stressful it is to constantly make a, b, and c plans, and the lies that go with them just to do something like hangout at a friend's house after school, or go to a movie? I should've had a heart attack somewhere between sophomore and junior year!

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But I didn't. I'm here to moan and groan to you about it. Are you still reading? 

Some of my plans were dangerous, like the night I slept in my car. I admit I don't remember every detail. I do know that I had my license, which means I was 18 (18!). I wanted to go out with my boyfriend, so I concocted a plan to go see a late movie with him. I was supposed to be staying the night at a friend's house. That's what I told my mom. 

But really, I was going to spend the night on some random street in the backseat of my car. We went out, came back to his place and chilled for a bit. A little after midnight it all started to get awkward so I left. Didn't think the night would be over for me so early but whatever. I got in my car and drove somewhere that was midway between his house and mine, (We stayed in the same neighborhood) parked and stretched out in the backseat. 

This may not sound so bad to you. It hadn't sounded so bad in my mind either when I plotted it. It wasn't until I parked the car and looked around with wide eyes that I'd come to the fact that A.) I was in the hood. THE HOOD. All the streetlights were out (and not because someone had forgot to change the bulbs) B.) IT. WAS. COLD. So cold that I could see my breath. So cold that my fingers and toes had went numb. 

Yes, I was cold and scared and there was only one friend's house I could've went to without getting the third degree from her parents (or risking getting told on) but she lived too far. So from about 2am-7am, I tossed and turned in the backseat (the windows were tinted. And also, my car was a van<---This, I do not wanna talk about right now). Anway, cold and scared of the nightwalkers, specifically Bubba (which is also a topic for another time).

Soon as daylight broke I got the heck out of dodge. It was only a bit passed 7 and I was walking in the house. It was suspicious. My mom asked what I was doing home so early, to which I replied with a shrug and a 'just wanted to be in my bed'. She didn't investigate further. 

Point is, I don't want my kids to go through that. Yeah, it's a big, scary world out there, but there's a lot of good too, like making memories with friends. And laughter (which I am just learning to appreciate and realize it really is good for the soul). 

My children are only 6 & 7, but time is whipping by, right? I know we won't do everything perfect, but I won't be like most parents who forget they were young once. And my kids definitely won't have to spend the night in a car like I did. 


What about you? Any stories to tell, or thoughts on raising kids?